"But I don't NEED therapy"

It’s a common sentiment for a lot of people when they consider psychotherapy - the sentiment that you go to therapy because you “need” therapy. The idea behind the sentiment is that you really only go to therapy when you’re deep in a crisis or you’re feeling particularly badly. It could be that your marriage is in trouble or you’ve had a really hard time overcoming some depressed feelings. In other words, the only time to go to therapy is to deal with something really big.

I think it makes sense. When we’re feeling good, we don’t feel the urge to reach out to get help.

By way of illustration, let’s consider the differences between physical therapy to recover from an injury and working out with a trainer at the gym. Both activities have similarities. You’re doing body work, learning to move certain ways, stretching and strengthening muscles. The main difference is what precipitates each activity.

Physical therapy happens after an injury - a body trauma, if you will. You need the help of a physical therapist to recover from that trauma. You’re not worried about your overall fitness level, what kind of shape you’re in, or your endurance level. You’re just trying to get back to normal functioning.

Working out with a trainer at a gym is much more proactive. Nothing traumatic precipitated the decision to hire a trainer. You’re not in crisis. You’re just wanting to get stronger, build your endurance, feel better, and get healthier.

And here’s the interesting part of this analogy - working out at the gym with a trainer works best when you’re not injured - i.e. when you’re not in crisis. That’s when you have the freedom to work with your whole body and get stronger and feel more capable.

The same is true with psychotherapy. Yes, many people seek out the help of a therapist after a crisis. But if those people continue to work with a therapist after the crisis has passed and they feel somewhat healed, they can begin to do a deeper kind of work to build emotional endurance (something we like to call “affect tolerance”), get stronger, and feel more capable. And a lot of times, this deeper, longer term work is more effective once we get through the crisis.

No matter where you find yourself on this spectrum, I encourage you to reach out and meet with a therapist. Even if you don't *need* therapy in the traditional sense, meeting with a therapist can help you feel stronger, healthier, and much more capable.